The Man Who My Mother Called Her Father (R.I.P.)

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This piece is dedicated to Telloway’s Chief Editor’s late maternal grandfather. A piece directly emerged from a grand-daughter’s heart.

 

There are vibrations
Going on in my head
My sense seems to defy me
It’s escaping me by
And the unconsciousness is penetrating
Deep inside, from crevices that this dilemma has created
And though I have never been drunk and high
I can vehemently feel this low in front of me
My numbness is forcing me to feel
And to make realize the girl inside of me
That the one who used to sing lullabies for us all
Has just called off his battle, with his last breath
The one whose righteousness had lit generations
Is nowhere to be found no more
My bewildered mind, though unoccupied
Can draw a thousand pictures of him
Him, who my mother calls her father
I lay in my bed, helpless and distant enough to meet
Sunk in regret of not visiting, one last time
The man who my mother called her father
The man who made this world deficient of
One irreplaceable soul, just moments ago
This man, I can yet not trust
Is no more to be found again
In bones and flesh
And he lent me
My first ever baffling close encounter
With life, death, and the pain of being
Miles away, when my mother lost
Him who she called her father
Who’s left me hollowed, senseless and deprived
Of the patience, that could hold me from writing
This unfitting shattered piece, unabashed
Just to keep me whole for now

Author-
Bhavna Dubey

20 comments
  1. Sumana Roy

    So sorry for your loss Bhavna. It’s so hard to lose a loved one. May he rest in peace. We could only have the weapon of forbearance to counter grief. So sorry, dear.

    1. Susan

      I never thought of forbearance as a weapon. Perhaps, then, in some ways, memory is one as well. Let this fine poem be part of your memories, Bhavna, part of your defense in sorrow.

  2. oldegg

    What a most telling and beautiful trubute to a grandfather. How captivating were the words which were full of grief that touched the readers heart.

  3. Sherry Marr

    I am so glad you wrote this tribute of farewell. It is hard to lose those important in our lives. It sounds like he gave you and your family a great deal. I am so sorry you have lost him on this plane, and I do believe their spirits remain aware of us in this one.

  4. Yash Dubey

    I feel the empathy for you.Sorry about your loss but the last thing that your grandfather would have wanted you to do stay strong and face the world with determination & take care of your family.We are all destined to go one day
    but you should just remember his teachings to you.

  5. Sherry Marr

    It is hard to lose someone so pivotal in your life. Though you did not have that final visit, i know you were in his mind and heart, and that his spirit is still close. His memory, always.

  6. Vivek Mishra (@ivivekhr)

    I know nothing can compensate the loss as the persona like him shall always make his presence felt! I loved your farewell and I know he will feel your tribute wherever he is in his better world.
    I’m sure you’ll excel in your life and make him proud.

    1. BHAVNA DUBEY

      That is true indeed. No one can ever replace a soul like him. I hope he could feel my words wherever he is. We were blessed to meet him, know him and call him our grandfather. I just wish his blessings stay with me always, and give me enough strength and support in life. Glad that you liked this one.

    2. BHAVNA DUBEY

      That is true indeed. No one can ever replace a soul like his. I hope he could feel my words wherever he is. We were blessed to meet him, know him and call him our grandfather. I just wish his blessings stay with me always, and give me enough strength and support in life. Glad that you liked this one.

  7. Tanya Barling

    So very sorry for your loss!! Hthere is nothing anyone can say to make this pain go away the only thing that heals this kind of pain is Time it self… The pain will slowly subside and you will keep him alive in your memories , the days you miss him the most is the time to stop and breath feel his love that will surround you every day for he is your guardian angel now and you will meet him when your time comes to leave.. Feath is hard to accept but the one thing I kept in my mind when I lost my mother by my stepfathers hands he took her from me at 17.leaving me alone to fend for myself… My memories kept me strong and my mothers presence I feel everyday! hope this helps inj some way .. always believe you will see your llost loved ones in the place in the house of God..

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